26 things the movies taught you

I don't mind someone questioning my beliefs, but this goes too far.

Ed (Born in the L of A.)

 

From: marty itzkowitz

Begin forwarded message:

From: mandala@caltech.edu

Date: March 8, 2010 8:47:37 PM PST

Subject: 26 things the movies taught you

26 Things the Movies Taught You...

1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the
price range of most people--whether they are employed or not.

2) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

3) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut.
You will always choose the right one.

4) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the
communications system of any invading alien society.

5) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you
one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have
knocked out their predecessors.

6) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom
will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

7) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert
on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

8) Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three
days before their retirement.

9) Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch
enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems,
deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks, which will allow their
captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

10) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit
level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

11) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French
bread.

12) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in
the control tower to talk you down.

13) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving.

14) You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make
the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer,
it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian
accent will do.

16) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

17) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but
will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

18) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through
it before long.

19) If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
noises in their most revealing underwear.

20) Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always
say: "Enter Password Now."

21) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to
turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

22) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

23) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from
duty.

24) If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will
know all the steps.

25) Police departments give their officers personality tests to make
sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total
opposite.

26) When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak
to each other in English.